Do you know the difference between a want and a need?
I’m sure you do. We’ve all heard our mom’s voice come out of our own mouth at one point, right?
Like when you correct the kid who just said she neeeeeds the newest iPod or that new video game or to go to the co-ed sleepover? Yeah. Right. Like you need that!
But how often does your mom’s voice talk to you? Hmm.. think about how often you’ve said some version of:
“I need to start my own business because I want to spend more time with my kids.” or “I need my day job and I need to grow my business in the evenings, but I really want to make sure I’m balancing my work and family time.”
These statements may be true. Then again, you might have it all wrong.
First, let me call bullshit on balance one more time and direct you to my personal philosophy on creating a well-blended life.
Now, back to hearing mom’s voice. Take the sentences above and switch the words “want” and “need”. Go ahead, read them again here with just those two simple words switched around.
“I want to start my own business because I need to spend more time with my kids.” or “I still want my day job and I want to grow my business in the evenings, but I really need to make sure I’m balancing my work and family time.”
How much does that change the meaning? What does it do to your perspective?
Downright evil word play, that is!
Now those sentences wreak of honesty. The need is the end goal…the life you want. The wants are merely means to reach that end…how are you going to fund the life you want. The funding isn’t the goal, its just a vehicle. Yes, you want that vehicle to be in working order and up for the trip. But, if it turns out it isn’t, you can get another vehicle…right? (You can.)
My Analogy (because I love analogies)
If you said you needed a new car because you wanted to drive 1000 miles to visit your grandma, then you’re likely to allow the inability to get a car to keep you from seeing grandma. However, let’s suppose you say you want a new car because you need to see grandma on her birthday. If you can’t get the new car, you’ll consider buying a clunker, taking a bus or getting on a plane. Anything that will take you to grandma on time.
The magical thing is, when you put the need on your family time and the want on the vehicles that will get you there…a true sense of urgency will start to move you forward and a whole new world of options will open up for how you can get there.
Your turn to play
Head on down to the comment area and let me know what you think about all this. What do you need & what do you want? How can this word play help you get there faster?
Photo credit: Me. That’s my Genevieve getting some work done at the hotel.
I love this twist Laura!
Let’s see- I want to create a business model that makes a million because I need to empower millions of women to discover, create and live their Genius.
Our need is our calling- what we are born to do- our want is the ‘vehicle’ to accomplish it.
I know, I know it’s a bit big but can’t help it – I tend to think big.
Thanks again Laura – I love what you are doing!
Cathy,
Thanks so much for hanging out here today. You’re so right! The need is the calling. If we deny that..if we minimize it to a “want”… then we’ll let all sorts of road blocks and set backs get in our way.
Never apologize for thinking big. Seriously, consider how lame the alternative is. Too many people think small about their lives, the options and their dreams. I’m glad you’re gutsy enough to step out of that crowd! …and I’m glad you’re here. Can’t wait to chat more!
First of all…I want to get started…and you would be my first pick for support on this new venture.
Second, word play is key for working with children too. Skipping..You need to pick up your toys. Awe the power of need….Seems simply saying Pick up your toys so they don’t get broken is a better fit.
Love your Brainy Feet!
Congrats Brook for making the decision to get started! It may seem like a small thing, but it is SO not. I’d love to work with you whenever you’re ready.
I know what you mean about word play with the kids! My husband will tell the our girls to do something 30x, then I come in and rephrase it slightly…boom, its done…happily and without fussing or bribery. Of course, they’re only 3 so that doesn’t happen every day and I have the benefit of perspective gained by listening to the chaos from the outside (in my office). But, it is so true and when it works, its magical.